rAMBLINGS of A pASSION8 hEART

The Time Traveller’s Wife. i read this and learned alot. i think im a better person now.hehe

kidding. ofcourse  not. haler.

it’s been a long time since i read novels. they tend to bore me for quite some time now. same plots. same heartaches. same blah.

but this one’s a winner. the plot is so fantastic. literally and figuratively.

i think one of the things that made it hard for me to put it down is because it tells a Love Story, very different from the usual love stories i’ve read from other novels.

a man time traveling (involuntarily) to his past to meet his wife when she’s 6 is quite interesting. you’d want to keep on reading because some chapters explained the part where the other chapters were written about. you get my drift??? anyways, you’ll see what i mean if you buy yourself a copy.

i guess finally there’s something i’m addicted to nowadays besides coffee. hehe

(you can check more about the synopsis on this site. )

i would like to thank my bestfriend who gave me his precious copy. hehe. if you happen to be drinking coffee right now (yung bigay ni rhea) cheers to long lasting caffein addiction and friendship!

one of my bestfriend from philippines was asking me earlier what should she write about in her blog..i automatically told her to write about that book that made her into a basket case. hehe. i don’t know if she threw the book during her reading, but it looks like the book is doing a great job on making her cry. =)

(11:01pm)

and now, i’m thinking to myself.. how about me? what should i write about? hmmm. i guess i don’t have anything right now that is making me emotional enough to be a basket-of-a-case, if there’s such a term, hehe. hooray for that!

i guess, if i’ll write something about right now, it would be about Hebrews 11:1.

have a good day, people!

It has been 2 years since I read about birthrights…I was fascinated by and got interested in studying the topic. and I have wanted to write about it for a long time.

Several verses in the bible talk about Birthrights. And in all instances it spoke of:

• blessings

• royal succession

• honorable title

• double portion of inheritance

• authority over younger members of the household, and

• spiritual disposition before God

All these were bestowed only to firstborns.

But apparently, most of the passages in the bible that talked of BIRTHRIGHTS, were about losing IT by the firstborns, and gained by the Second Sons.

§ Esau, the firstborn of Isaac, lost it to Jacob. (Gen.25:29-34; Gen.27:36)

 

§ Reuben, the firstborn of Jacob, lost it to Joseph’s Sons. (1Chr.5:1-2)

• Manasseh, firstborn of Joseph, lost it to Ephraim. (Gen.48:15-20)

Esau, Reuben, and all the others, deserve the birthright promised to all firstborns. Although, Esau lost his for a pot of stew, but the Bible did say that it was revealed to Isaac that the Eldest Son (Esau) shall serve the Younger (Jacob), even before they were born.

Jacob and Ephraim were chosen not because they DESERVE IT. But because God willed it.

Tremendous blessing awaits those who are chosen through the grace and mercy of our God.

Now, the question is this, “Will you be willing to avail of the Promise being extended to you, the chosen Second(s)? It’s a Promise with a Blessing waiting to be poured down… As one friend told me when i shared this to her, “Why would I refuse it?! specially if there are Blessings involved. hehe” she exclaimed. Apparently, she is one of the many Younger Siblings who was doing the responsibilities of the Firstborn.

one of the reasons why i booked my ticket early last september…is to be home and see my first nephew. grabe. ang laki (big) at haba (long) nya for a 2-month old baby! i guess we (mostly my sister. hehe) might grow some muscles during holidays. maskulado si tita!

so there are quite a few baby talks going on lately around the house, mostly coming from the adults. haha… and a few baby cries.hihi.

it is quite a change, especially when you can’t take your sister to watch a movie unlike before.

but then again, having a new ‘man’ around the house makes it worth missing a movie or two. hehe

..still groggy from my 8 hour sleepless wait in KL airport, i took my first step in Philippine soil since my last visit here (which is JUST last July. hehe) well, it might have just been 5 months but seems like it was more than that. :/

finally, i’m breathing the cool air of my country. and the usually breezy cool winds of December signifies Christmas…where leaves gently rustle in the morning until even at noon.

we went to the city today, and true enough Christmas is not only in the air (figuratively) but it, also, is everywhere! Malls and parks are now decorated with Parol (filipino lanterns) and trees are literally "donned" with christmas lights! haha. i guess electric bills run high during these seasons. hehe

anyways, just blogging from my cozy (formerly guest room) room..  which reminds me, i haven’t put the bedsheets yet. (i slept in the living room last night) i was tooo tired to even mind. As long as i have a pillow and warm blankets, I DON’T CARE. it’s better than KL’s McDonald’s Table. **

more next time! (Nephew News to be specific. hihi)

as i sat on the pew earlier tonight i can’t help but be amazed on how amazing God is.

before the program began, there i was, feeling so alone. i can’t even get my friends to accompany me tonight as i sang for a church christmas celebration. even the ones who aren’t close to me weren’t there to sit beside me while i sat beside a big, tall, seemingly, stern pastor, who quietly sat beside me at the first half of the program (until he started speaking to me in Tagalog. He couldn’t speak too much English. that’s why he does not talk, he said. =) apparently,he is a very funny and witty pastor)

i knew from the very beginning that it was not my friends, or even the big pastor’s fault that i was alone. it was God’s. it’s a conspiracy, you see, among angels and the principalities of this Earth. it was a set up.

two weeks before this day, in psalm 23, the passage I SHALL NOT WANT kept on ringing in my head. little did i know that it was a warning of series of tests in my life– God posted a question for me..if He will take away everything, or everybody around me, would i still TRUST HIM?

to tell you frankly, i had a hard time doing so.

It all started with my WANTS. For the first time in my entire life, i started WANTING??! you see, if there is a QUEEN OF DENIALS, that would be ME. :/ i’m the type who denies what i want. i don’t want to WANT, because past has taught me that if you started WANTING, you’ll eventually end up with NOTHING. and that HURTS.

so my plan is NOT TO WANT.

But God obviously has different plan in mind.

Apparently, i was made with a WANTING HEART. A heart that longs….for people, for friends, for acceptance, for love, for affirmation… the list could go on.

But, again, God wants me to look beyond those WANTS. but in able for him to accomplish that, He has to remove them. They are kinda blocking my way towards my REAL WANT– Jesus.

"The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want…"

it took me a bucket of tears, and a few broken hearts to understand that again…and again.. and again. but it’s all worth it.

so, as i said earlier, i sat there in church marveling on how amazing God is..

God restored me through a lot of things: through FAITHFUL friends around me, who never gave up on me.. who tried understanding me even if they don’t. hehe. (well i can’t blame them. i must admit, i get confused with myself juga. :/ )

Restoration even comes from people i barely know. Even the music simply being played by the pianist earlier as i sang– moved me…to believe and to trust..To trust Jesus– who is the seat of all my WANTING and DESIRING.

"The Lord is my Shepherd. i shall not want… He leads me through quiet waters. He RESTORES my soul…" Psalm 23: 1-2

I had a dream last nite. slightly weird though.

I was out of town with a bunch of people from church (I think). i was being nocturnal and i could not sleep. so, I decided to go out of the compound where we stayed.

it was dark outside. but the stars are all lit up! so I took a gadget that i’ve been carrying around like a handphone. but this particular gadget has a camera that will able you to see the sky. If you focus on a particular part of the sky, it will identify what constellation it is. I guess we can call it a Constellations Identifier (CI). haha. I just realized that my dream is quite hi-tech, huh?

then something happened to the stars.. they moved!!! its as if the sky is having the ultimate METEOR SHOWER OF ALL TIME!! imagine gold glitters being thrown in a dark nite with lights making them sparkle. But these stars don’t just slowly fall as glitters would do. They were swirling! it was like they were dancing! grabe. ang ganda.

and… I saw Orion on my CI. hihi.

(wait.. let see what the web says about Orion…)

ok.I just searched the internet about Orion. It says in the web’s ever-faithful WIKIPEDIA (hehe) that Orion is a mythological character of a Hunter and is one of the most widely known constellation due to it’s size, visibility and the presence of the 3 aligned stars (Orion’s belt), known as the 3 Kings in some countries (including mine).

and you know what???? the net said that Orion apparently have METEOR SHOWERS that occurs throughout October and early November. Showers were at it’s peak around October 21 and 22, as many as 60 meteors per hour. They call this meteor showers ORIONIDS.

And apparently, Halley’s Comet is one of those that decorate the skies during an Orionid event. But, Halley only joins the star ‘dance’ in every 75 years. I guess I’ll have to see Halley then with my grand children, and with their Grandpa. yihi.

so apparently, my meteor shower dream is quite factual. and maybe PROPHETIC. hehe J

Orionid meteor trail is seen slightly below the picture. The horizon (land) is slighly curved due to  the edge distortion of the lens. nice noh? who would have thought i would see them first in my dreams??? weird.

… had a weird dream some nights ago.

in my dream, i was walking alone one

afternoon.. sun was about to set, that it

casts an orange overcast sky. on this path,

tall grasses grew on both sides of the

path. breeze was blowing softly on the grasses.

while i was treading the said path, there

were FISHES of different colors crossed my

path! one was white, one was red with black

stripes, one was…i forgot.. i was confused

for a bit. then, i heard a voice in my

dream telling me that i could pick one fish..

and i didn’t have to be afraid (because i

was. i remembered feeling afraid that if i

did take one, it would just slip from my

hands)

..and so i took one. and it did stayed in

my hands! as if the fish knew that it was

meant to be chosen.

i woke up wondering what is it all about.

the next night, i accidentally read about

KOI fishes of japan (and china). and these

fishes are domesticated and comes in

variety of colors.. and they look

like the fishes i had in my dream!!

and guess what’s the literal translation of

KOI, other than FISH?

LOVE and AFFECTION! haha.

i feel weird.

8:08pm
November 16, 2007

8:08 pm

nope… this is not what you think it is. this blog is not about the invasion of unknown space crafts, people..

Virology termed them BACTERIOPHAGES.

they, apparently, are on our side! conquering bacterial world, and destroying millions of harmful bacteria.

these bacteriophages are viruses that eats bacteria from its inside. Like spaceships, they land themselves at the surface of the bacteria, and inject the DNA in it. Once the genetic material is inside it will replicate itself until it makes the bacteria burst, thus, destroying the bacteria altogether. sounds like fun, huh? yez. hehe

ok, Bible time naman!!! include natin si Lord sa usapan.

you remember the story in the Bible where the Nile river was known to have healed Leprosy? Science have theorized that the healing powers of the said river could be due to these good viruses. galing talaga ni Lord.

Behold!!!! the T4 bacteriophage under electron microscope… taga kain ng bacteria sa ating EBs. hihi.

Artists rendition of T4

and while i’m at it….eto pang isa! Computer rendered naman…saya =)

6:06pm

It was an unusually cool day….been wearing my light sweaters lately… even sleeping with a sweater around me was comforting and therapeutic..

anyways, as I was saying.. it was quite cool lately. and I’m finding it very, very nice. I feel loved whenever the weather is cold. I don’t know why…

but….

….as i was walking on the school corridors yesterday. my eyes were automatically focused outside- to the kids playing on the fields, towards the sky… and I was wondering when it is going to rain. like I said, I feel loved when it does. =)

..then a door from one of the classrooms opened, and out came one of my co-teachers. “I love you, Miss Cheloy!”, said she with a smile on her face.

…and without thinking I blurted, “Why?”

…gosh. so much for being confident of being Loved, huh?

….that day, I thought to myself, and asked myself, why did I asked WHY?? Don’t I believe the I can be loved without reasons? that I will be loved JUST BECAUSE??

Though my co-teacher said that she LOVES me, period, I knew that deep in my heart I had or have WHY questions… The bible did say that IN THE ABUNDANCE OF THE HEART, THE MOUTH SPEAKS, right? =)

aduh. gudlak talaga saken. hay. magtatampo na naman si Lordie neto.

“Sorry, Lord….”

A grade 2 student hurriedly put this on my desk, and ran as fast as he could. nahiya pa daw ba. =) cute cute…

the greatest honor a friend could give …loving even when they saw through translucent skins…. seeing everything..knowing every ugly possible detail… d nooks and cranny spaces in ones heart…that hides the softest part of you…

willing to come through..willing to hope.. willing to hold ones hand, if life crashes down on you….and i shall be in awe..that its possible….

…. in the absence of fear. 

Aa (my youngest sister) sent me a snail mail!!!! it is soooo good to recieve a letter via postman…and being able to read the mail through the person’s own handwriting is just comforting and therapeutic, especially today. =)

Anyways, in her letter, she wrote that she has this calling for Missions. MIssion to the UNREACHED PEOPLES GROUP of other nations.

Happy ako for her… As in.

Because i remembered myself years ago when i first decided that i want to be a missionary somewhere outside Philippines.

in one Missions seminar i attended, it showed us that in the OLD TESTAMENT, God’s plan is for ISRAEL to shine, bringing people toward itself to show God’s glory. When Israel failed to attract people to itself, God, then, commanded his disciples to GO FORTH and make disciples of all nation.

And another seminar i attended, the speaker showed us a graph, where percentages of christians, buddhist, hindu, and islam were tabulated. The figures shown in graphs were staggering. Seeing that the number of Hindus, buddhists, and Moslems are much, much higher than the numbers of Christians, is surprising and saddening at the same time..

i went home that day burdened.

i knew then that i want to be part of God’s operation to reach other people other than the people in the church that i go to in the Philippines.

i guess that’s what made me move out of my country and settle in Indonesia.

God made me into a teacher??!! (who would have thought i will love teaching?!) teaching grade 2’s for almost 5 years. i have never felt such feeling of belongingness in other places except when i am around my students.

The children,i believe, is my Mission Field. =)

i really believe that Missions and Ministries are not confined in churches alone.

Missions is where you are most influential, gifted, and where you get to have as many connections everyday and every waking moment of your life.

It could be your own family or where you work. LIike i said in my previous blog, your WORKPLACE is one of the strategic places for doing Missions. These people know you and can see you in a day to day basis. It’s the best place to shine forth…being a christian in a place where you are least expected to act CHRISTIAN. hehe.

As i was closing my sister’s letter to me, i can’t help but be happy for her.. i know that the burden that she has for the unreached peoples of other nations did not come from her own. She is, actually, the shy one among us siblings. Don’t you know that you can’t even leave her alone in a mall when she was 12??!! she will eventually cry, due to feelings of abandonment.haha

So, as i pray for her tonight, i’m sure that the Lord is already at work preparing the way for her, ‘leveling the mountains’ for her….just as how the Lord leveled the mountains for me, making straight paths, to go to INDONESIA.

(Prambanan Hindu Temple.. at night,flood lights shine heavenwards shows intricate details of the said temple giving an eerie feeling.. gave me goosebumps that night. hehe)

__________________________________________________________

Isaiah 45:2 and 3b

"I will go before you and level the mounains;
I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron…. so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who CALLS YOU by name.."
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…just arrived from school. some hi-school students were diligent enough to forget about being nganggur during this 10 day-vacation, and have asked a few teachers to help them catch up in their school-work.

i was asked to help tutor in physics. as i was reading their book yesterday, i was, again, amazed on how simple, mundane things around us can be quite complex.. and Science, here, is trying in its best capabilities to explain it.. but sometimes…to no avail..hehe

again, it’s Man’s attempt to explain the complexities of creation.

it’s not at all surprising how even some uncivilized tribes and unreached peoples group, have oftentimes have their own ideas of a god. i guess just by looking around them would give them enough evidence that somewhere out there, a Higher Being is making things work:

sun rising  

sun setting  (rising man or setting, the Sun is never late… i guess Ram cannot be a Sun in his past life,huh?? hehe)

the way of the bees guarding fat queen bee.

the way of the ants storing food (buti pa sila pumipila..hehe. taga UP??)

the way of the bear mothers with their cubs (if you are a bear, how would know you’re not licking someone else’ cub!!??? "ah, ma-tamis..kapit-bahay ko ‘to.. maasim si Junior e. nyiiiiiiih =D )

the way of birds migrating across the earth (lugi Airlines sa mga birds. Meh frequent flier miles na ‘tong mga toh, i bet…) 

the way of the caterpillar during metamorphosis (when do a certain caterpillar know that he/she is a BEAUTIFUL butterfly??!)

grabe.

i could go on and on about the mysteries and beauty of nature, but enough proof has been said.

It all points to one fact, that amounts to …. the TRUTH: SOMEBODY made all these. pasti.

kung ATHEIST ka, ewan ko nalang sayo.

________________________________________________________

"..for since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities–his external power and divine nature–have been clearly seen (Science, on observation), being understood (making hypothesis, and confirming it) from what has been made, so that men are WITHOUT excuse…"         

Romans 1:20

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right turns…

4:04 pm

Last night, i laid on my bed exhausted. bones and muscles (even my bottom muscle!) seemed like their quietly crying. if they could only whimper, they have done it already. haha. They (my muscles) got the ache(s) from FORCED dancing. hehe. yep, i’m getting to be a rickety old cheloy. hihi. hey, my body feels it but my heart doesn’t!! (denial pa eh)

This is all because of the Kids’ Camp from my school.

i arrived from the camp yesterday. Though exhausted, my soul’s refreshed and spirit’s uplifted.

Being the Grade 5 and 6’s teacher when they were in Grade 2, and seeing them now all grown up (even taller than me!!) makes my heart swell with pride. Not only did they grow physically, their hearts grew as well. They have grown to be lovers of others and of Jesus Christ.  =)

The Grade 5’s are the sweetest! A day would never go by without me having atleast 3 rib-cracking hugs from them. The girls would normally hang on to your body like cats wrapped all over you. Even the boys are not yet embarrassed to give me a smack or two. hihi. (aduuuuh. gemas.) (in tagalog: nakakagigil. hihi)

Someday, i’ll have my own.

(ang point pala of all the blogging right now is HAVING CHILDREN. mwahaha!)

(ayan naasar na saken..kakapicture ko.. hehe)

(one of my Grade 2’s, Joshua. pictures taken 4 years ago. ngayon dambuhala na ang mokong.. )

Do you call yourself Fisher’s of Men?

if you do, where do you do your fishing?

ok guys, i’m not talking about fishing MEN for marriage ok??? i’m talking about fishing Men towards God’s kingdom. =D

Anyways, Don’t you know that where you are right now is the most STRATEGIC position for ‘FISHING’?

• 1st, you have something in common with the people you work with–YOUR WORK. =)
• 2nd, you spend 8 hours each day with them.. 160 hours in a month..as compared to your 3 to 5 hours in church one sunday,total of 20 hours in a month.

seeing your workplace as your ministry area gives you more opportunities of interacting.

no need to think of an inviting program that would interest people to be in a fellowship! because they are already there WITH YOU.

all you have to do is…

• take TIME to listen to their hearts.most of these people have the same issues as you do. we are, afterall, made up of the same DUST. =)
• don’t FORCE THEM to ‘KNOW’ your God. because most probably they have a pretty good idea who God is. almost everybody (even the lost Mayans) knows that there is a God who exist, or God is good, etc. etc. They just DON’T CARE about God. But i’m telling you, they ‘KNOW’ God.
• as you listen to their hearts, you will know where God Is actively working in their lives– broken relationships, financial difficulties, etc. these are God’s way of getting their attention. Join God there.  God’s program usually works.
• let them listen to your heart as well. your weaknesses as well as your strengths bear good witnesses of how God is able to be there for you.
• be sincere. People have instincts. They know if you are just trying to convert them into a religion. and they also know if you really care for them.
• lastly, pray for them everyday. =)

__________________________________________________________

1 Corinthians 7:17

"So brothers and sisters, whatever situation you were in when you became a believer, stay there in your new relatioship with God."
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September 23, 2007

8:08pm

Love is????

I was browsing through my fone earlier in church. no, no, lah.I was not getting bored or anything. i was just waiting for the 2nd service to start. haha. defensive ba?? hihi

anyways, I noticed that I randomly typed a message to myself (maybe one boring day of my life. and i hope it was not during church. hehe)

and I quote myself…

“I have yet to see a man who would remind me even in his weaknesses that God is basically good…”

I don’t really know the context as to what that particular message that i composed is all about. I can’t even remember myself writing it! I must be having one boring day or…. somebody must have hurt me in some way that it made my writer’s juice JUICY. haha

anyways, changing topic now…..

dooodie lend me a good movie today. titled Seducing The Perfect Man. It was quite interesting actually.

in one of the dialogues it says that for you to keep your man and experience long lasting Love, you have to know the rules of the game.

No.1. you have to know the basics— self respect (ok. I agree. next..)

No.2. don’t answer his fonecalls. if he wanted to see you, he will call you over and over again. (I agree on the 2^nd sentence..the first??? hmmm. But what if I miss him already???

No.3. don’t give too much. withhold a little. don’t smile a lot. keep your smiles to yourself. (para ka namang may KULANG nyan)

No.4 don’t give gifts all the time.  (para sa mga nagtitipid!)

No.5. if you wanted to be treated like a queen. Act like one. (polish on your Acting Skills)

No.6. the list went on…. and on….the point is there is POWER STRUGGLE in every relationship, so you have to know how to manipulate your opponent EMOTIONALLY to subdue him or her.

by the end of the movie, the main character played by a Korean girl, said that she’s confused how manipulation can be fun in a relationship, why use manipulation when you will lose honest conversationS, and not being able to know one’s true feelings for each other.

she’s tired of following the rules of the game. She misses her old self. She wanted just to be the girl that she is.

She just want to LOVE.

instead of calculating, she wants to be honest.

instead of receiving. she wanted to give.

instead of hiding, she will let her feelings known.

by the end of the movie, I’m feeling sappy and melancholic. haha.

udalah. just watch the movie aja. you’ll see what I mean.

ps

(i glimpse of the Perfect Man daw)

the main actor is soooooooooooo handsome! grabe. I guess when God showered His handsome-blessings, this guy brought an upside-down umbrella for himself. hehe

____________________________________________________
i john 4:18
“there is no FEAR in Love. But perfect Love drives out fear…”
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a good friend visited me in my boarding house tonight…and we had BAKSO for dinner. indonesian meatballs in rich tasty soup with fried onions. yum. i guess its one of the best i had so far. not only that i had a share of a possible presence of coliforms (streetfood kasi sha), but also an abundant amount of MSG! hehe

but seriously speaking, i think it will make a good business in the philippines.. hmmmm

uwi na kaya ako??

last nite, some of my closest friends txted me telling me that they missed me. it seems like they gathered together and told each other to sms me all in one day. but the thing is, they all lived in different areas, and some of them don’t even know each other.

at first, i was thinking, maybe the Lord wants me to go back to philippines for good????? it’s a sign!!!!! hehe.

anyways, i guess it’s God’s way of telling me that my presence matters and that i am loved. =)

today, i am one happy individual. =)

journaling my heart out about this day. it’s been 3 years since God told me that ‘it’s time’. but then again, God’s time is different from our own. so i guess, when God said IT’S TIME to you, it means a day or a moment of our time is equal to 3 or so years in His!! haha

who would have thought those 3 years will go by soooooo fast. and if you’ll think about it, it seems like it was just a moment ago. i guess, this is how God must have looked at time, huh?

CS Lewis wrote a glimpse of his idea of how God looks at TIME. Lewis said that for God, time is like a flat piece of paper. And details of our past, present and future are written on it.

So, Lewis said that when we pray to God, for instance, today, God can look ahead of the paper and see what the future would be like for us.

He went on saying that it’s like God is typing a story. He can pause and think about what he is composing/writing (or maybe, if he’s like me, he’ll get a bag of chips, or have his caffein fix with a mug of coffee in between writings. hehe)

i read somewhere, or maybe, heard it from a friend (Byanger, i guess) that our present time is a POINT intersecting TIME with ETERNITY.

imagine yourself in an intersection. the point where two streets meet in the middle was/is believed by my friend to be the PRESENT and ETERNITY at the same time.

it does make sense actually. our PRESENT/TODAY is a moment in our lives when we get to exercise our free will, make decisions. Decisions like, what to eat, where to go, who to hurt or maybe who to love. i guess that’s why it is connected to eternity, and eternity to God, because it’s a time when we make moral decisions that affects our spiritual disposition.

la lang. i’m just amazed on how TIME moves, and how it brings us with it. and how God allowed us to waste or enjoy TIME.

such freedom. grabe.

basta masaya ako ngayon. i guess i just want to ENJOY what time is freely given me. =)

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September 19, 2007

9:43 pm